dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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