dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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