you turned your livingroom into a bong?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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