can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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