her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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