Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
