My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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