I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
