She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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