I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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