there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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