it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
