I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
