theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
