Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
