So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
