we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
