How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
