this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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