The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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