just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
