People with herpes should wear stickers.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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