i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
