i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
