Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
