He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
