She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like iHOP with fire
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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