And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
