I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize