This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
