Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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