You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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