Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
