does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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