One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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