I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Another day, another engagement, another cat
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
