Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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