ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
