peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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