its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
