i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
