it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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