We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
