There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize