If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
