Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
