I think I won the penis lottery.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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