Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
