i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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