i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
