can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
