Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
