You work out of a Hotel?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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