Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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