We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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