what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize