Cold hands, warm shart.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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