Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
