The maid of honor just puked.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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