Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
