Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize