i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I have grass duct taped all over my body
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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