so that wasnt chicken after all
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
