it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
